0.01% 的成长

没有这样的考验，就不会知道有多痛。

我知道了那种痛，所以请不需要再让我痛下去。

不知道那所谓的人性，这一秒的无微不至，下一秒却是陌生人般的冷言冷语

是我多想 还是这就是你？

不明白也不需要再去明白 因为如果你值得 我看到的人性就不会是这种样子

只能用失望这两个字来形容 

心里有百般的为什么。

当为什么出现时，我发现，1年前的为什么。

答案一下子就出现了。

很多事情没有为什么。

如果知道答案的话， 也没有必要这么去逃避。

时间回不去，吸取教训。

谢谢你，我知道我上了一课。

0.01% 的成长

俗话说成长的背后总有着不同样的故事。

Awesome Summer 2012

Finally, I am coming to update my blog~

Summer gone for more than one week;

I have attended the classes for more than one week;

Still, I haven catch up with all the progress in the classes;

When I saw assignment, i want to run away;

开始质疑自己是不是选对了路；

没有工程师应有的understanding;

没有老外般的communication skill;

没有同龄年的confident level;

但，转个念头；

这么开始质疑自己了；

三个月的暑假功，Door to Door Selling~

应对了这么多不同样的人，应对了这么多不同的objection,
As told by somebody, objection is not an rejection;

遇到了人生中的第一场车祸，把自己的小六给牺牲了；

当然，还有我22岁的生日。

遇过了那么多在给我机会的好人，感谢那么多把我拒于门外的人，让我懂得应该这么拿捏自己的情绪；当，面对下一个挑战，我也比较懂得应付。

三个月的时间磨练了自己很多；

从信心，与人的沟通方式，发生事情的当下应该这么解决。

很多很多在人生中要学习的东西，我都接触了那么一些些。

开始清晰，自己想要的东西，只有自己能够圆梦；

不是告诉自己一天等一天，明天在开始；It will take forever;

One of the Pastor told me that, 当你自己在梦想成功的那一刻，其实你已经成功了；

Mrs Jones told me that, Keep it going, your sweetness personality will bring you a long way;

Mrs Jones told me that, I admire what you are doing, hopefully when my kids grown up, they will do something just like you.

Mrs Jones told me that, always remember walking by faith.

Appreciate all the Mrs Jones that I met in Sampson County, North Carolina. It will never be forgotten as the memories last long forever.

Here are the group of awesome people that we were working together;

流浪在外的学子们，因为有着同样的梦想，大家一起超向目标前进；
Believe in the system, you are gonna make some changes;

I do not know how much i change, but it did influences me;

I saw it from other people, and it really did;

We been through 3 months of hardship that nobody will understand unless they tried.

My Family from North Carolina, Distance keep us apart, but our friendship will never broken;I hope you guys are doing really well in life :)

My awesome baby that really impressed me~ No matter how hard life goes on~i will be there support you :D

My Lovely Roommates :
To Nina: Younger than me but maturity higher than me,

she said: keep the same face everyday no matter how hard it is; I love you Sister :D

To Chrisnina : She is a strong christian, always believe in GOD, I learned from her : Gives compliment to people will make people happy as well as you. I love you sister :D

My Awesome Buffalo Team :

To Kiet :My manger and my brother, thank you for being a good leader to me, thank you for taught me a lot of things, even though you are very lou shou, but thank you for always being there whenever I need you, I am sorry for all the troubles that I make in the summer. But I do appreciate a lot of things that you taught me, little by little.

P/S: he was one of the president from CSC group from INTI Subang too.
To Ze : My precious friends + Next Door Neighbour.

I admired your confidence, your determination. When people look down on you, you care and prove they are wrong. I am proud of you my dear, you make it.

To Daryl : Good Friends + Consultant

He is always being my consultant even before summer. Pro English Speaker but yet never lose patient while talking to me.I am proud of you because we finish together.Thank for being there whenever I need you.
Taken in SkyDeck, Chicago. Love you guys till the max. Too pity that Olivia and Uncle Tan is not with us:(

Daryl, Kiet ( My mnager ), and Ze

Not to Forget : Buffalo Team another Lady : Miss Olivia
She is a sweet and strong girl, even though different organization but she scared I can adapt to the summer, she called and encouraged me at the beginning of the summer, Thank You for teaching me baby. I would love to learn from you.
The other Buffalo Member, Mr Desmond Tan + Same kampung Kia ( 30 minits from Benut)

When I just came to Buffalo, I was so happy that I knew he is from Senggarang, so close to my home.
He is a very very good person. Thank you for being my "consultant"!! So sorry that I always cried in front of you guys, but the motivations and encouragements that you gave it to me, I will never forget and appreciate a whole lot.

Of course to mention this, my 22th Birthday. Thank you to my parent for an awesome me. Thank you for the chance that you give it to me.

Last but not least, three of them, damn funny all the time.
Mr Fritz: My Playboy boy's friend! Keep telling me not working and kicked me out of position number two. We shared a lot of things, thank you for being my awesome friend.

Mr Yang : After the vacation from Tampa, We met again in the summer. Get through all the hardship together and have fun during the trip. He is a drinker. Thanks for the ride in Chicago.

Mr Jun : Never really talked to him a lot at the beginning. A shy and quiet guy. But when you talked to him, he is very friendly and funny. He said " girls are very troublesome. Well, no doubts :D

We were to stupid went for movie. We should go to downtown.

A nice picture taken while we went back to the beach house.

Freedom--> LOVE THIS PICTURE So Much. :P

Coach Dye said: Nothing is easy, nothing easy show how good you are.

My summer ended, but experiences and friendship will never end.
There are too many people in this program I would like to say thank you.
Even though I did not listed out, But always live deeply in my heart.
If Not Mistaken, I am Top 3.
Looking forward for the Banquet.

P/S:

太过忙碌的追求，导致忽略了身边很多的人事物。

喜欢，却害怕受伤。

敞开了心房，总是在失望。

你的光芒四射，让我不得却步；

我的祝福一直都在。

First week

Everyday when I woke up early in the morning. I was thinking where to go to knock the door. Once I found a door open and welcome me. I hate to leave. The feeling and support they gave was overwhelming and touched. Mrs Tommie and mr tommy are a lovely elderly couple. She is a Sunday school teacher and without trying to get anything from me. But her kindness and sympathy towards me make the tears drop down as soon as we talk to each other. I love them.
Mr Darell Coble a very kind guy he share with me the story in the bible and share with me a lot of information. At the end up with the book and gave it to me where he wants me to read it and understand it.
Mrs Lola and mrs annie are good sisters. I tried the soul southern food for example macaroni cheese and beans and biscuit. :)
There are too many people outside which is good and kind.
Not to mention about the profits but the stories of each family support me and make me keep moving.
This is the end of the first week.

Breath

intense schedule makes me feel tired and exhausted.

How many brain cells have been killed seriously I have no ideas.

Almost lost the spirit about what am I doing.

I thought I am strong but who knows I feel that bad feeling too.

Tears drop and clean it up.

Tomorrow morning start with a brand new days

I am gonna stay strong.

Remember about what I am doing

Remember about my family

Remember about what I am going to show to my parents.

Remember to stay positive.

Remember about the team mates that stand together with me.

I believe this gonna be an awesome summer.

Do not ever give up.

I need fresh air.

C'est La Vie

Enough is Enough! Life suppose to be enjoyable!

Snoopy have been suffered starting from that points until now for all those creepy stuffs.

What makes you always think Snoopy have no friends? 

- S has housemates that willing to talk to her, cook for her, walked to coffee shop together when s is bored, and even lunch together after classes. 

- S has a close friend that will listen to what s said, treat Sushi when hungry, lend shoulder when s is sad.

- S has her lovely parents far away from here but always waiting for her to call them and talk to them.

- S has a group of friends in the place where s growth; with faith, friendship never end is what s believe.

- S has two to three buddies will listen to her , drink beer with her , whenever s give them a call.

Stop Bring It Out that Change Change Change on your mouth. Tell yourself and believe yourself the real meaning behind of the Changes.

Change for what? For relationship? For yourself? For something that can make you satisfy ?
A very nice sharing from a Friend about her sister's story. From the story, I can see the determination behind that I am lacking of. She changes not because of guys but for herself, she believed that she has the responsibilities to make herself better. Put the word "change" on your mouth is pointless. Changing takes a long process, it undergoes time, incidents, and the way that you think. Every time that you gone through an incident, you will definitely change and be mature, so bear in mind of all the mistakes or even the reasons of getting success. Always, Time is the best proof to tell you how much you have growth and how much you have been transform. No need to tell people you change, until they discover themselves. 

Always questioning yourself whether you are pretty or not, confident or not. 

Why not believe yourself that you are pretty and confident? 

If you think you are Fat, please DO something. Exercise and eat less. 完美的成果通常都在百般努力的尝试与经营才的到的结果。Hard Work Paid Off is what you need to believe. 

If you think you are not confident, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you are confident.
Once you stop saying that, you should be able to be confident. maybe It works?? 

Screw you the bad demon that keep telling you are not confident. Believe yourself and be confident!

If you are not having the same frequencies with that people, saying HI will not make the frequencies even worst. Saying HI is simply a way to greet with people. If they dont want to be polite, come on, just show that you are polite. It wont know cost you anything.  

Last, s gets influenced by herself that s is getting old. Her mindset was strong and make her think s needs to find something at this moment. So, s acts impulsively, and then fall down from a tall building and learnt a lesson. No matter how pain is the lesson, stand up and move on is the most important thing. Whatever s did, even is a mistakes, s learn it and get through it. There is no point to recall back always, 永远躲在自己设定的范围内，you will never get explore and discovered. Eventually ,you lost nothing but you gained something that only you know.Time prove everything, sad to know that being ignored, but life is yours, should not control by other people. Prove it that you are strong. 

Quote: Enlighten trial and error succeeds over the planning of a lone genius. Chapter Closed. 

打工去吧

如果是你，你会选择去做个假期功还是那课？

如果努力，三个月可以赚个4000美金，resume可以写到美美的，对未来的帮助不会少。

但是却是要很努力的挨家挨户的去敲门给予服务；
不知道门后的那个人是不是对你也会很客气；
换一个角度想，如果是人家去敲你的家门。你会这么应对？
有或者是take summer course?
接下来的科目就会很顺心的完成后，两年半毕业。

不过，就没有额外的钱可以用；

啊，手心手背都是肉，这么取舍呢？
多希望自己是两个人，两个身份同时执行；

不过，我已经决定了，我要去打工；
如果，挨家挨户的都可以做；
可以增加我的communication skill;
好处应该多过于坏处；
回来读书的时候，熬夜几个晚上应该不是问题吧。
加油，未来的路是我的；
再怎样都不可以后悔。

该是庆幸还是悲伤；

有些事情又何必去在意。

在钻牛脚尖的想法，时间长了，就让时间来把它带走。

悲伤的渡过每一天只会让自己觉得难过；

倒不如开心的渡过每一天。

想法很重要，一个人的想法取决于他的路要这么做；

或许，一开始的我迷茫了，慢慢的开寻找着出路；

但，有一天不再强求的时候，该来的还是会来。

让自己充满自信是必然的 

不为现在，只为将来。

I did pretty well =D

Time Flies.

Its been another month for me in US.

I think I adapt myself quite well here.

I can mostly know what are they said when I go outside even though I replied in a slow speed.

But yet the lectures will be kinda hard to adapt.

Sometimes, when the professor or lecturer talking in front of me, actually my mind have been flew to somewhere else.

But, I will try my best to understand it okay!

I should really take notes about everything that i did here coz memories will not be return when it passed.

And, I will keep myself update about the life here, like which restaurant that I went to, which mall, which place have cheaper stuffs, and my UNI!

This coming Sat, I will be one of the 24 dances to perform on the Stage. That is a cultural dance competition which joined by many countries. We are representative of Malaysia. We dance Malay and Indian Dance. I hope I will do my best without humiliating our country!

And, I did some crazy and stupid stuff yesterday, I never been so brave before. But, once its done, that is. No matter how I going to deny it , it still be there. lets hope time can use to prove anything.

If there is something call Density, I wish it belongs to us.

Sorry for acting so impulsively, but I am not regretted though.

Too many same situations happened and I guess it will most probably be a good choice though!

Indeed, to be frank with all those stuff,s it takes courage.

Lets be a secret between me and you. :)

Thanks to a friend! Thanks for being by my side when I need somebody to talk to!

"when I sad, I stop being sad but be awesome instead!"
It will always be on my mind! Hugs!

Miss everyone of You So So MUch! *Wink*

Happy Valentine's Day

情人节快乐！

一早起床，看见的全部是Valentine's Day Wishes!

Valentine's Video!

最难忘的就是一个Long Distance Relationship by Daphne 还有Nick, 一位有缺陷的男士，却满满的斗志，结婚了！

Everyone deserve to be love, everyone deserve to be happy!

一起经历过的一切，到最后还是爱着彼此，那么结局该是多么的美好。

一起经历过的一切，到最后却是各自奔飞，或许就失去了那么的意义。

虽然，我没有情人。

但是，我有爱我的家人。

一句句的关心，直接进到心坎里。

爸，妈，我很爱你们！

谢谢你们给我的一切。

谢谢你们把我养大。

不知道是不是太过寂寞，很想有个人陪在身边也是不错。

只是总觉得自己很多时候都在钻牛角尖。

总是在寻找一些原本就不适合自己的一切。

希望不久以后，我可以找到属于我的那个缘分。

Lesson of the week!

做过了，就不需要后悔！

P/S: 隔壁的那位，今天我们遇见了！不知道这么做是不是对，可是却不想让那么的感觉消失，情人节快乐哦 =D

星星挚友，那颗闪闪发亮的星星看到没有？~这里的星星真的很亮~

每当看见星空，思念就倍增~情人节快乐！

快点打电话给我，我跟你们讲八卦,你们跟我讲八卦=D

哈哈哈哈哈~

Waiting for you guys to be here!

很久没有自恋的拍照了。

Party's looks of the Night!

Me Gusta!

Happy New Year =D

新的一年新的希望。

没有鞭炮声，没有年夜饭吃，没有家人的陪伴，没有我最爱的黄梨饼，

没有朋友相约一起去拜年，没有的早上早早起来去朋友家打扮美美去玩，

没有的和家人一起去旅行，没有红包可以拿，没有晚上十二点的祭拜祖先，

没有了该有的习惯。

唉，年除夕夜陪伴着我的是，电脑还有功课。

话说，明天还要早上9点的课。

真的就是落寞到了极点。

还好的事，这里的朋友们相约一起吃饭，一人煮一道菜来吃。

我就煮了妈妈教我的猪脚醋来吃，大家的评语都不错，可惜，我还是想念妈妈的猪脚醋。

谢谢这里的senior把我们junior带的很开心。

不然，真的会更落寞吧，

所谓独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲。

今天早上爸爸带电话来了，感觉电话那头的爸爸还是很不好意识的。

毕竟，我们家很少来那种感性的对话。

不过，装着若无其事的对话还真的把想哭的感觉给压了下来。

然后，感动的是，爸爸还竟然答应了我一直不敢提的问题。

结果，我还是会仔细考虑有没有那个需要。

选择依赖不会是我想要的。

不过，高兴的是，我找到了一份工作。

一个小时7.25 dollars,一个星期应该会作两个shift

希望阿，我能一直坚持下去到最后。

那么我去旅行的时候就不会这么的担心了。

纽约还有你们，等我吧=D

不过，刚刚电话那头来的电话真的就直接把我给弄哭了。

啊，难过下下好了。明天直接everything is okay!
Happy go Lucky!
Happy New Year Everyone.

第二篇

才来了一个星期，我花了好多好多的钱。

senior说，美国人很喜欢和别人不一样。

我们租的家里没有上面的灯，只能买摆设灯来用。

所以，这样会让人觉得比较高贵？

也当然我花了钱去买很多的日常用品。

这里的shopping center很大啊，可是又没有很齐全。

很想买我用的facial cleanser却又没有。

不过，我很喜欢那些水果，很想都买来吃。

真希望我不要变到这么大只回去阿～

不过，来到了这里，我有了自己的房间，却觉得很空。

只有一张自己买的床。
还在想着要这么设计我的房间，因为很想要有自己的狗窝。

有什么方法可以不用浪费钱又可以设计到的？

不过，到现在还没有搬进去家里，因为还没有电阿！

鸡蛋糕的处理态度，到现在都还没有好。

感谢我们的super senior帮我们处理这么这么多的事情。

载我们去了很多的地方买这买那，吃了很多很多道地的美食。

senior还载我们去银行阿，弄着弄那的。

真的，人非常非常的好。

我们来后，他的妹妹把房间借给我睡，她去朋友家睡，朋友们睡客厅。

每天早上喝牛奶，吃掉了两大包cereals~

Body shampoo也要用完了。

哈哈哈。。。

真的，谢谢super senior 的帮忙。

没有他的帮忙，真的不知道要这么办才好。

至于读书吗，什么时候要毕业这个话题呢。

事实是，我要在这里两年半才可以毕业。

不过，希望明年summer可以回去Intership~

所以给我一个机会毕业后可以在这里找工作。

好吧，星期二就要开学了，希望一切顺顺利利咯。

我知道我的positive energy可以一直继续下去的。

不过，homsick是真的，我想念我的爸爸妈妈还有你们。

更想念Malaysia的食物　=D

第三篇

没有想过电视机的那一幕也会出现在我的眼前。

去了Buffalo Downtown,下了轻快的火车。

眼前只有两排街道，中间只能让火车行驶。

没有汽车，没有罗里，只有Police car can get through.

然后就感觉自己好像走在时尚的街头上。

冷冷的天，穿这厚厚的冬衣。

总觉得眼前的一切很不真实。

不过，downtown 的街道算满干净的。

建筑物的设计很古典，不会让人有窒息的感觉。

这样的环境真的让人又爱又恨啊。

外面的天下雪了。

代表着，真真的冬天来了咯。

所以，我们去玩打雪战拉。

冰打在脸上的感觉很不好，因为太冻了。

然后手也会被冻的很痛。

可能，还不习惯这样的天气吧。

不过，美好的东西总不能长久。

汽车驶过的地方就践踏了白白的雪地。

然而，太厚的白雪地造成了汽车不能很顺利的驾驶，车祸率提高。

然后，我拍到了一张雪的形状。

很像雪花这样的形状。

不过，一下子又不见了。

虽然，白雪很漂亮，但大量的它却造成了人们的不便。

不过，我喜欢这个白白的天。

感觉，我是天国的阶梯的女主角。哈哈哈哈。

不过，当然没有这么的悲惨。

开始慢慢的喜欢这个称为INTI NILAI Upgrade版的小地方。

P/S:这里的outlet真的很便宜，you know =D

Phrases of the day:美好的东西却不长久却记忆犹新

First Snowman in the Home =D

Do You Remember this =D

第一篇

拖着两个行李，一个背包。

和家人在学校附近的餐馆吃了一餐。

妈妈还特地点了我喜欢的芋泥。

真的，感动的心情一直在心里。

离开的那个早上，一直告诉自己不可以哭。

想着想着就自己在车上哭了。

到了机场，一直在看真的没有人来。

妹妹还笑我，你不是叫人家不要来么。

结果，左盼右盼，你们都出现了呢！

真的很高兴，还有你们的书本，真的很steady的。

我还真的很不舍得画～

谢谢你们，真的！

到最后，我都没有哭～

可是，上了飞机，寄了讯息给爸爸妈妈。

感触直接涌上心头。

哇，难过。。

继续看书本里的话。。

哇，感触良多。

淮康的直接说到很准。。

哈哈哈哈。。

又不是什么生离死别。。。

感恩，家人的支持

感恩，你们的出现

谢谢，我真的很幸福。

希望，在难熬的日子里，我都会凭着这份信念继续走下去=D

My Fanily =D

Oh My Friends =D

Mr Chan and Classmates =D